Of what are we afraid? Podcast #68

Fear is a natural part of being alive: fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of simply being wrong, and – most tellingly – fear of being unlovable. Our reaction to this fundamental expression of mortality and imperfection will affect our romantic and coupling lives in many ways. Kregg and I toss it around in this week’s Halloween podcast.

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Swipe The Vote – Around The World

Three debates down. Two weeks until Election Day. One new President of the United States. The whole world is watching – and now it’s time to Swipe the Vote.

This election marks the first time in history that essentially all millennials are old enough to vote. In fact, millennials will play a larger role in this election than in any other – from the big decision to the global conversation – which is why we’re bringing Swipe the Vote to our users around the world.

Starting today, in partnership with Rock the Vote, Tinder users in more than 15 countries will

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Dating Women Who Are Insecure

Does my hair look okay? Do you like me? Why won’t he call? These are all common concerns voiced by insecure people who see compliments as a true measure of their self-worth. Men who have an affinity for dating insecure women should do so with some trepidation as they must understand that there is usually [...]

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What is coupling success? Podcast #67

Failure is a state we all recognize as an uncomfortable, vaguely distasteful, sigh-inducing and ultimately inevitable piece of life’s puzzle.
But what does success look like? Is there an easy standard against which we can measure ourselves, or do we have to collect a bag of nuances to proclaim triumph? Kregg and I talk our way to a successful conclusion.

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Good Boundaries To Set In Relationships

The citizens of a country are governed by rules of law and have specific boundaries in place by which those that live in that country have a mutual understanding of what is right and what is wrong. These citizens agree to respect differences among them in order to have a peaceful co-existence. Relationships are pretty [...]

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I Am Not A Smartphone

Home inspections hopefully reveal flaws before buying a house, but what I really need is a people inspector before mortgaging my emotions.
— Wombat Kissnblog (@kissnblog) July 18, 2016

I blame the iPhone.
The iPhone is at the peak of the techno/design pyramid, which is an enormous pile of man-made goods that began accumulating with mass-produced buttons in the English midlands 250 years ago. Along the way we added shoes, guns, lights, Model-T Fords, washing machines and air-conditioners, and now the whole lot is capped with the smartphone. This is the history of the industrial revolution and consumerism.
And what, you might ask, does

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Pushback

We call it “the dance” or “playing hard to get” or something similar, and it’s an under-examined part of coupling discovery. A specific term for it would be nice so that we know just what we’re talking about, but I can’t think of one.
Perhaps we could think of it as surface tension, in the same way as water in a glass sticks slightly at the edges, the meniscus. It’s still water, but there is a definite boundary where the water meets air and the side of the glass.
In our case, part of the attraction of someone is the need to

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Should You Send Fun Cute Text Messages To Your Partner

Have you ever been hard at work during the day just wishing you were anywhere but at the office, when all of a sudden your phone makes that little sound or vibration that tells you someone, somewhere was thinking about you? That fun cute text message finds you just at the moment when you needed [...]

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Risky Business

We never know what’s going to happen. Over a large sample-size we might get things right, but in coupling that matters only to society.
As individuals, being right or wrong, having expectations confirmed or denied, or watching our circumstances improve or decline is intensely personal. Lives change forever based on our choices.
This is why, in my opinion, dating and coupling often feels more intense than it otherwise should. Viscerally we know that the people we choose to be in our lives, in our hearts and psyches, can literally make or break us, in the sense that we must invest an enormous

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