High Expectations, High Price

Meshing two people into one unit, turning two people into a couple, is a tricky business. With a number of moving parts on a lot of levels resolving in different time frames, we underestimate the process at our peril.
A few of these factors can be de-tangled before we even start, but it requires conscious pre-meditation. Actually, that’s a good word for it; meditation. Out-thinking our instincts and peer influences will stop us from immediately taking a wrong turn and subsequently keep us close to the right path.
One way to begin is to figure out our expectations. The romantic and beastly

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Partner in Crime

Online dating is as much of a dysfunctional circus as ever as I discovered last night. Not that I was on a date so arranged, but my friends regaled me with stories.
A catalogue of low-rent prospects…
Weirdos…
Out for whatever they can get…
We re-visited the predictable reactions of normal people to abnormal ways of finding possible boyfriends or girlfriends; it’s horrifying.
One subtle point was one friend’s astonishment at the speed with which people have sex and/or assume exclusivity (whatever that means.) In her mind, dating was about interacting with one or more people with the aim of better acquaintanceship. In other words,

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Podcast #72 Is Playing Hard To Get Useful?

Playing hard to get might work, or it might not. If your aim is to entice someone, you might be best advised to wait until they have shown some interest, otherwise it might all backfire.
Is that your experience? Or does your aloofness win every time?
Kregg and I remain detached yet tempting while sorting it all out.

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Just The Way You Are

Or, more likely, just the way I am.
I’m increasingly opening my eyes to an epidemic of bad dating practice, which is the expectation that a prospective spouse must accept me precisely the way I am. In other words, I’ll make no concession to the other person, no modification, no accommodation, make not one thought different from the way I currently behave.
Implied in this outlook (possibly unthinkingly, but still…) is that when future change occurs, I’ll expect you to adore/respect/accept that as well. No questions, no discussion, no melding of minds, nothing.
The blindness to human nature that this stance manifests is

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What Are You Looking At?

Forget football and the beauty salon – according to a new study, women seek well-travelled, cultured and informed guys, while men seek ambitious, active and creative girls.
Meaningless of itself, a notion like this is valuable because it gives us permission to think independently. I, certainly, have allowed myself to walk down the pathway of thought that goes:
What should I be looking for?
This is the kind of group-think – or for that matter peer-think – that will get us into trouble. When we filter our interests, desires, likes, dislikes, imagination and dreams through anything but our own system, who knows what

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Crazy

If you believe the perpetually aggrieved, our reproductive organs are weapons of mass destruction. Too many people, too many people, too many people they cry again and again and again. We are destroying the planet and everything on it with the avalanche of babies who grow to be awful adults.
And yet we manage to survive and – dare I say it – thrive. Okay, so not all of us thrive. People in Sudan, or Chad or Somalia might not think they’re thriving, but as a species we are.
So what’s the problem? Some people are better off than others, but life’s

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Get Married Or Live Together, What Should You Do?

  Marriage is not the institution of society that it once was.  This does not mean that getting married is a bad idea, it is merely that fewer couples seem to put the significance of marriage upon the pedestal and high honor that it once held. Marriage is a huge commitment for most and it [...]

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