Fit

Funny what we can learn from talking about couplehood.
On the weekend I was chatting with a friend, figuring the merits of online dating, how profiles work, what the probability of a genuine reciprocal relationship really is from an online Sears catalogue – the usual stuff. I was mulling over what it is we’re really trying to do here, over and above the flim-flam of ‘soulmates’ and LAFS*.
Fit might be the answer. We’re looking for another person who will be a kind of snug anti-us, like the master of a brick mould. Or a coffee-mug template. Or even a car-door stamping

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Introducing Tinder Online – Swipe Anywhere

Hold the phone. Now you can swipe from any browser, on any device, anywhere in the world.

For many of us, Tinder has always been nearby—in your pocket, on your nightstand, or quietly racking up new matches at the bottom of your purse. But for some, using Tinder hasn’t always been as simple as reaching over, tapping the app and messaging your matches.

Let’s face it: not all places on earth have 4G. Some people can’t get bundled services, while others don’t have enough memory to support Tinder on their mobile phones. For all those who’ve ever been stuck in a

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Podcast #79 Dealing With Change

Change is inevitable, and even with the best intention in the world, couples will grow closer and further apart because of it.
Are we taking on more than is reasonable when we couple-up with someone? Is all change acceptable? Are there better ways to make it work when we’re out of synch? What about discomfort created by one of us changing?
Kregg and I take a big-picture look.

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Character or Chemistry?

In the long list of bogus standards with which Hollywood has blessed us, their idea of romantic love is among the worst. Not only is it a false hope, it’s something far worse; an impossible dream.
Most of us think – because of the movies – that the best relationships begin with instant bonding, the storied glance across a crowded room. Something begins that way, but it’s not the best beginning to a serious and connected lifetime of shared experiences.
Chemistry is at the heart of this instant noodle notion of coupling. Chemistry is certainly a thing, but it’s a reproductive and

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Room To Breathe

None of us think of relationships this way, but the courtesy of allowing room for the other to be who they are forms a lifelong framework, if we so choose.
What does “allowing room” mean?
Well, Hortense, room equates to latitude and understanding. Within the boundaries of law, morality, etiquette and goodwill, women should allow men to be men, and men should allow women to be women. Observing our specific mate’s version of malehood or femalehood is part of learning about them.
What does ” (being) who they are” mean?
Being who they are is the characteristic and integral behavior of each sex. Women

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Making Moves

A female friend, a married woman, tries to set me up on dates. That’s very nice of her, and I’m both grateful and flattered she thinks enough of me to, in essence, stamp me with her brand.
It’s a point often forgotten in the sweaty melee of finding someone. Emotions and hormones drive much of this frantic activity, such that noticing the implied endorsements and possible alliances is often overlooked. We are tribal, and the greatest gift a tribe can extend is an offer of membership.
Because I enjoy observing these rites of mateship, I’m consistently flummoxed by the mismatch of action

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Romantic Nicknames And Sexy Pet Names

  Buttercup, Sunshine, Snookum’s or even My Sweet Petunia, bleh! It’s almost enough to make a guy turn in his man card! Yet, these are just a few of the affectionate nicknames we have grown accustomed to on television, especially for those of us who still enjoy a good cartoon every now and then. It’s [...]

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Depress Me

Number one on my list of prospective mates to avoid is anyone with any kind of chronic or recurring mental illness.
Sadly, this counts out a lot of women, but counting out a lot of women is the idea of such a list. Mental disorders are rife, and, from what I understand, wholly under-diagnosed. Even if that’s not true, we rarely think of not dating such people for precisely that reason, because we figure that therapy or drugs will mitigate any problems. We overlook this stuff on the way to the bedroom.
Wrong.
I had coffee this morning with a women who is

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